I used to be cool. I used to bid on cool things that I wanted on eBay. Mostly guitars. Guitars and Japanese robot toys. A Rickenbacker bass. A Fender Telecaster with a humbucker. Yamato 1/48 Valkyries. Imported or out-of-print books, records or DVDs. A groovy art print or poster that you can’t find in Memphis. A pair of Frye boots for under $100. A car stereo with an aux input for an mp3 player. Actual mp3 players. Computer components. This is what having a kid does to you, young single people. You stay up until past midnight to bid and win 4 hardcover Olivia books that retail for $18 each.

I used to be cool. I used to bid on cool things that I wanted on eBay. Mostly guitars. Guitars and Japanese robot toys. A Rickenbacker bass. A Fender Telecaster with a humbucker. Yamato 1/48 Valkyries. Imported or out-of-print books, records or DVDs. A groovy art print or poster that you can’t find in Memphis. A pair of Frye boots for under $100. A car stereo with an aux input for an mp3 player. Actual mp3 players. Computer components.

This is what having a kid does to you, young single people. You stay up until past midnight to bid and win 4 hardcover Olivia books that retail for $18 each.