We have a knight down. Being the huge George RR Martin dork that I am, I probably have unrealistic expectations out of a jousting exhibition. But what transpired Monday at the Delta Fair was really a disgrace. Here’s how it went. Announcer on horseback in medieval garb comes out and does his best Paul Bettany in A Knight’s Tale impression. He hypes up the arrival of the heroic Blue Knight. He stays in character THE WHOLE TIME with phrases like “this noble warrior fought in many a battle, but his nemesis has challenged him on the field of valor. Behold… THE BLACK KNIGHT!” Now, I’ve never been to a Ren Faire or even to Medieval Times. But I really appreciated how hard these guys were working. Running around in chain and plate mail in 100 degree weather has to suck. Especially for a crowd of country fair attendees who would rather be watching some ousted contestant from American Idol (who was on next). Still these guys gave it their all. They jousted, broke lances, then hopped off their horses for a spirited bout of melee with swords. They even had a (rather hot) lady in serving wench garb who brought them gear and whatnot. The whole time the announcer STAYED COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER, describing the action on the field. I loved it. The crowd of kids and rednecks loved it. Then they had to go all Tennessee. The Black Knight is struck down by the champion Blue Knight. The announcer says “The Black Knight has been vanquished by the heroic Blue Knight! His squires will arrive momentarily to remove him from the tournament field.” Then “the squires” drove out in a green John Deere flatbed and picked up the Black Knight (who’s still playing dead or injured) and put him in the back and drove off. These squires were, of course, dressed like my Uncle Daryl. This is not how things would have wrapped up at King Robert’s Tourney to celebrate the appointment of Eddard Stark as Hand of the King.

We have a knight down.

Being the huge George RR Martin dork that I am, I probably have unrealistic expectations out of a jousting exhibition. But what transpired Monday at the Delta Fair was really a disgrace.

Here’s how it went. Announcer on horseback in medieval garb comes out and does his best Paul Bettany in A Knight’s Tale impression. He hypes up the arrival of the heroic Blue Knight. He stays in character THE WHOLE TIME with phrases like “this noble warrior fought in many a battle, but his nemesis has challenged him on the field of valor. Behold… THE BLACK KNIGHT!”

Now, I’ve never been to a Ren Faire or even to Medieval Times. But I really appreciated how hard these guys were working. Running around in chain and plate mail in 100 degree weather has to suck. Especially for a crowd of country fair attendees who would rather be watching some ousted contestant from American Idol (who was on next).

Still these guys gave it their all. They jousted, broke lances, then hopped off their horses for a spirited bout of melee with swords. They even had a (rather hot) lady in serving wench garb who brought them gear and whatnot. The whole time the announcer STAYED COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER, describing the action on the field.

I loved it. The crowd of kids and rednecks loved it. Then they had to go all Tennessee.

The Black Knight is struck down by the champion Blue Knight. The announcer says “The Black Knight has been vanquished by the heroic Blue Knight! His squires will arrive momentarily to remove him from the tournament field.”

Then “the squires” drove out in a green John Deere flatbed and picked up the Black Knight (who’s still playing dead or injured) and put him in the back and drove off. These squires were, of course, dressed like my Uncle Daryl.

This is not how things would have wrapped up at King Robert’s Tourney to celebrate the appointment of Eddard Stark as Hand of the King.

  1. blaine23 posted this